Random

Assalamualakum stranger(s) Oh my the struggle of waiting this website, line is so weak ! Anyways, I have no real purpose of making this entry so I will talk about random issues on my mind. Money issue has been on my mind since this last 4 weeks (a month I guess?) I started to lessen using money and it was rough and tough. It still is! We all know at some point of life when you stop asking money from your parents even though its still not the right time yet, we just think so because we dont want to be a burden to them. Money works almost everything. Alhamdulillah I passed my KUIS TESL interview and will be register on june 3rd. Thats one of my reasons to save money from myself and myself. Since kuis is an ipts , i need to use alot of money. I didnt make a loan from ptptn neither getting any pinjaman mara. Sigh! Mum disagree about making ptptn loan she babbles everytime I bring up the topic. At first, I refused listen to her because if I dont make the loan where on earth should I dig some money(if its that easy) from?! Like no way I would never ask money from them anymore, stop giving me your money . You need it . But whatever I say I knew I have no other choice but listen to them. I am 18 but not legally 18. I CANT DO THINGS ON MY OWN. I NEED THEM TO GUIDE ME and get green light then only things work smoothly. Money are probs and also the solver. Like I could imagine every single day I would spend time 10 mins thinking about money that my parents invest to made me a person with knowledge. Its better worth it or else i will be drown and die. Other issue is about upu. Its hard for me to share and confess this but I dont get any offers from them. NOT EVEN ONE. I believe that this happens because I got awful result. And I need to take it positively and end the conflict between my brain and my feeling. Well you gotta do control your brain when you are sad and gotta need the brain to think positive. Whats up with the feeling? I feel dreadful to let everyone down especially my parents. I need my brain to overcome this because my brain controls the feelings as well. MIND BLOWN. Lmao. So its a war and it will end soon, just soon. Everything will change i will change myself everything's going to be alright. I know. Last issue that I would share here on my blog its about preparing myself to change. It takes commitment, confident, connection, comedy, and cesungguhan (kesungguhan) they are my 5C's that I just made up. Oh my that is so random I am so brainy HAHA. But I genuinely have to make myself comfortable with myself, I am not changing for anyone else except me. Better change before its too late. I can do it. P/$ : leave a comment if you have advices and useful wisdom share them for me to use. I need em' thank you :)